Leave me alone let me live my life! This is my current philosophy, I mean so far I have lived this life trying to please people, trying to prove to that, I should be loved by them or that they should choose me. Since I was a kid others were chosen over me, that made me feel like I always have to prove that I am good enough in order to be chosen. But right now I’m like Naah! if you feel like I deserve your love then give it, if you think I fall short, keep it. I’m so done with this feeling of having to prove my worthiness to people. You want me? I’ll be right here. Being me,
The one that believes in God, and in awe of nature, have you seen how a rainbow stands out in all of that darkness in the sky? Have you seen how stars glow at night? How the moon blends in with the stars making all the darkness look so beautiful and artistic? How different flowers bloom beside each other without ever competing to feel prettier than the next, how the birds chirp and how the crickets stridulate, how birds freely fly in the sky, how the ocean is blue so clear yet so deep. I mean come on! Who wouldn’t fall in love with that?
The one that loves seeing people in love and happy, walking around holding hands taking care of each other. Looking deep into each other’s eyes. Kissing and being all goofy with each other. It’s so refreshing, one problem though, I am a love skeptic. I don’t trust all these I love you’s, since most of them are fake, I’ve seen people work hard to win me over then when their selfish gains have been accomplished they disappear. Did it hurt? Like a MF, but then I realized what love should be, all along it was for me to find myself and love the freaking shit out of me.
I am not perfect in fact; I am so imperfect that I think if I were a puzzle piece I’d fit nowhere, but who wants to be perfect anyway? Come to think of it would you be friends with a perfect person? I have weird quacks and weird features, first of all FYI I am BBW, actually I am not, I am unproportional I have a big stomach, big butt, my wide hips, tiny breasts, I have a small head and automatically small facial features, eyes that are half Chinese, mind you I have zero Chinese DNA in my system. I often wonder how can such a small head goes with such a huge body? I’m chocolate brown, my face has a darker tone than my body and I have short legs and short hands, I know, you might think I look weird, but that’s just it I don’t! it’s like all these imperfect pieces put together created perfection. I am a little pretty, well not like Rihanna or Beyoncé pretty but, good enough to turn some heads, I guess that is one of the reasons I started seeing myself differently. I mean if more than ten people think I’m pretty then who I’m I to question the masses?
What I am saying is that there will never be another me, one that smiles so wide, cries so much, who overthinks and loves art. Will people judge me? Oh hell yeah! Will people hate me? Definitely! Will some love me? Amazingly freaking YES! but that’s what life is all about being unique and different and that is a good thing. Those who are meant to experience our magic will always be there and those who aren’t meant to, will always leave. That is why we have to master ourselves so that we can easily share our uniqueness with the world.
For we are Magic! 😘
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